Abstract
Some men as kids are silenced at a young age and only shown one path to manhood. Well while they have been silent, they have found a way to express themselves through the car community, and through other forms of expression. This paper will explore the importance of men standing out from what society expects them to be while expressing who they are through cars, tattoos, and other ways. It used research from academic journals on the CCNY databases, used various websites to find articles that were written by anthropologists and men with first-hand experience. Interviews were found between people as to how they felt when they got to express themselves. Also how they felt when they weren’t allowed to because society shuts them down. Articles like “Why Car Modifications are Addictive” by Lee Shermaine were chosen because they gave this paper pathos. Adding the perspective of why they build cars. What do they find interesting about it and what does it mean to them when others see what they built. Also adding some pathos was the interview with Robert in 2007 as to why he didn’t just keep his fiat the way he bought. He briefly explained he wanted to stand out from the norm and wanted to look different from other Fiat owners. To add some logos into this paper a periodic paper was found on a website owned by ABC to follow statistics. Ella Koeze and Anna Jester wrote the article named “What Do Men Think It Means To Be A Man” this article conducted a study on different men and asked them various questions about manhood. What do they feel is expected of them and how they felt towards it? From conducting this research society hasn’t changed the way men are expected to be. Men are still expected to be the strong one in the family. Show no emotion no matter how bad of an impact something can have on them. Sometimes men find different ways to express themselves. Some ways good while others don’t end up being so good. The car community has been a positive showing of expressing yourself. Being able to build something from what you envision and add your taste to it. Adding your identity to something materialistic. Some guys use tattoos to give a story of something that has impacted them in some way. There were also findings of men who don’t share their emotions might go towards something that will not benefit them in the long run. Some men may result in something that only brings temporary happiness. They feel as though sometimes they will not fit the criteria of a man which should be changed to any man is a man.
Imagine yourself walking through a parking lot. Not your regular parking lot filled with normal cars though. You are walking around seeing cars with different wheels, different sounds, and different colors. You see people praising a car for doing a burnout, or revving its engine. People standing by their cars to show their build to the others. Each car is different from the other. No car build is the same as the other because they are just like people. Everyone has their identity and car enthusiasts show their true colors through their build. Men especially show their true colors through materialistic objects. They enjoy the thrill of having something represent them and people enjoy what they have whether it is music or cars. When young boys act a certain way because society views them that way, they try to find different ways to express themselves. But sometimes this can take a heavy toll on a boy in the long run leading to holding all their emotions and not ending well.
In the car community especially everyone is encouraged to build what makes them happy. Show people your taste and be different from others. Some people like loud cars while others like quiet. Everyone has their taste. “The way their car is mod, speaks a lot about a person. For example, if the colour you choose is bright and colourful or just plain and simple, that already speaks a lot about someone. The car, in a way, symbolizes the driver; and that alone is unique.” (lee shermaine) Your car is another symbol of who you are. The way you build something speaks highly of you and gives people an idea of who you are.
From a young age, men are told to act a certain way, dress a certain way, and talk a certain way. You might think it could be teaching them manners and how to behave. With this being true, sometimes boys are taught that men are the strong part of the family. June Gruber and Jessica Borelli wrote an article about why we should help boys express their emotions. They discussed both positive and negative effects that can happen. They wrote,
Indeed, a lack of fostering emotional diversity in youth may have long-term problematic consequences. As early as elementary school, the avoidance of strong emotions (besides anger) results in academic underperformance in boys. Psychologists have found that children who deny emotional vulnerability are also more likely to become adolescents who engage in health-risk behaviors, such as substance use. Later in development, men suppress (i.e., do not openly express) their emotions more than women; and men in turn experience greater depressive symptoms and resort more often to physical violence. (Gruber, Borelli)
This is what most men in American society go through. Being told what they can and cannot do. The teaching of being the “strong” one of the family tends to take a heavy toll on a boy in the long run.
When telling a boy that they shouldn’t cry because it shows weakness, the long run of this will result in different solutions that will not be beneficial for their health or mental health.
Men don’t usually feel as though society will accept them for who they are. But Men have found ways to express who they are as a person and how they feel. While still being accepted in society. “Women have fought for and secured a wider range of choices about the way they lead their lives. Men, meanwhile, remain stuck in cages of their creation. This makes the necessary transformation more complex, and in some ways more painful.” (Richard Reeves ) The thought of being something you’re not isn’t something guys would like. But through time expectations have been set for us and we have found ways to work around it. Some men find the enjoyment of modified cars because it is a representation of who they are.
People, especially men, have always used something to represent who they are as a person or express who they are throughout all of the time. It could be anything with meaning to oneself. Men using materialistic things to connect with their identity isn’t something that came recently. It’s been around for a while.
Valued material possessions. . . act as signs of the self that are essential in their own right for its continued cultivation, and hence the world of meaning that we create for ourselves, and that creates our selves, ex- tends literally into the objective surroundings.(Russell W. Belk 1984)
When a materialistic object has a personal connection to a person, it builds one’s identity through it. Meaning that when you see a friend talk about or has something that means a lot to them, when you are alone and see that object again you would most likely think about the person who usually talks about it.
The youth now show how they feel or represent their identity through materialistic objects. “Young people’s symbolic creativity is now explored through leisure and processes of symbolic production.” (Howell 2012) Young adults now tend to use creative expression to present who they are. We now have more and more young music talent, artists, and younger fashion icons are becoming more relevant as time passes.
In Formula 1 drivers are allowed to have custom racing helmets. Some teams have limited creativity as they want their team colors on the helmet. This led to drivers being able to be creative and design their helmets in a way that would represent them as they drove around a track. “It’s not targeted at Red Bull, but just having the freedom [with Renault] to do whatever I want, I figured why not go for something crazy and different,” Ricciardo said of his helmet design. “So, ‘stop being them’ is just encouragement to be yourself and don’t follow trends. If you like going a certain way, then be bold and do it.” Daniel left Red Bull after the 2018 season and signed a contract to race with Renault. With this, he was given the chance to customize his helmet his way.
The feeling of using a car is a way of expressing your creative side. Sometimes you’ll use different mods from others just to stand out from the norm. “Robert: It makes the car your own. It’s individual. You’re taking a factory product and doing what you want to do. It’s about style and expression, individuality. Interviewer: But at the end of the day is it not still a Fiat? Robert: But it’s trying to make it your own Fiat and trying to inject something into the brand.” (Interview with Robert, October 2007) Robert like others in the car community doesn’t just see a regular car. They see something that they can add their own personal taste to the vehicle. Something they want to build and be happy with the way it turned out. While also showing it off to people and seeing others enjoy what he created.
Another way men usually tend to show who they are is by adding tattoos to their bodies that are personal to them. Some of these tattoos tell stories, give a representation of an organization or team they are a part of. “This study elucidates the complex and varied motivations of those who acquire multiple tattoos. Common personality traits were identified, including a high need for uniqueness and low need for conformity.” (Anne, Mizzi 2019) Getting a tattoo can be for the simple reasoning of being one of a kind. Sometimes when people get tattoos they feel different.
Men and women are held to a certain expectation and sometimes can’t act like their true selves. That isn’t the same everywhere, some places encourage differently and encourage self-identity. “The strong emphasis upon dancing does not discriminate against the physically defective. Instead, every defect is capitalized in the form of the dance or compensated for by the perfection of the dance.” (Mead 84) “coming of age in Samoa”. Samoan culture expects everyone to contribute to the community. No matter if it’s helping with kids or plantations. Everyone contributes. The adults encourage kids to be themselves including their dances. They tell them to dance and have fun being themselves. No matter who you are it is important to embrace yourself to others.
Women have had their standards changed. they have been able to reach new heights. Recently they can now become a female vice president since Kamala Harris is now elected vice president. But for guys, things haven’t changed as for standards or expectations. “Most boys and men are aching not for things to stay the same, but for a new script,’ says Barker. ‘A script that includes being emotionally connected; being equal caregivers; supporting full equality in the workplace; supporting full equality for individuals of all sexual orientations and gender identities and being able to ask for help when they need it.” (Shelley Zalis). Guys are finding ways to get out of the norm of being the average man in society and changing the script of what people shall expect from men.
Alongside men not being able to whom they are comfortable due to society not normalizing it. This affects one’s workplace and relationship life. Ella Koeze and Anna jester writes,
Sixty percent of men agreed that society puts pressure on men in a way that is unhealthy or bad. And the younger a man was, the more likely he was to believe that.
But while most respondents were in agreement that society puts negative pressure on men, they differed on the form that pressure takes. One respondent said there are “too many unnatural ‘macho’ expectations and too little emphasis on nurturing skills,” while another believed there is “too much emphasis on finding our feelings.”
We also asked men about their persistent worries. Most men said they had some daily concerns, weight, and finances chief among them. (Koeze, Jester)
Men have a lot of pressure on how they are supposed to act in society. They are told to be the big man but sometimes this is not what a man is all about. This much pressure can get a man to overthink about themselves and this tends to not result in a positive outcome.
Men only have one expectation in society. And they are taught to live within those expectations. Sometimes that may take a big toll on a man. Keeping all those emotions inside and being the head of a household and keeping the money flowing in to provide for everyone. Dr. Jerry Kennard from the British Psychologist Society states that men have recently been more likely to die of suicide. The reasons for these suicides are traditional male gender roles discouraging the fact that men should express their emotions to others. Due to men not talking about how they feel, depression may sometimes be underdiagnosed in men. Meaning that professionals may not exactly state that their patient has depression since they will not say exactly how they feel. They might sugar coat it and say they’re fine. They also self diagnose a “medicine” to help them out. What they use would most likely be either drug or alcohol and they will most likely be a large consumption of it.
Men in American society are often told to be the tough ones or to not show emotion. But as time goes on, these gender expectations are being changed and more men are giving more opportunities for others to find a new way to show their identity. Whether it is through cars, tattoos, or music they have found ways to express themselves.
Works Cited
Shermaine, Lee. “Why Car Modification Is Addictive.” TOC Automotive College, TOC Automotive College, 21 Oct. 2019, www.toc.edu.my/news-event/why-car-modification-is-addictive.
Gruber, June Gruber June, and Jessica Borelli Jessica Borelli. “Why We Should Help Boys Embrace All Their Feelings.” Greater Good, 22 Feb. 2018, greatergood.berkeley.edu/article/item/why_we_should_help_boys_to_embrace_all_their_feelings.
Reeves, Richard, et al. Men Remain Stuck in Cages of Their Own Creation, 16 Aug. 2004, www.newstatesman.com/node/160348.
Csikszentmihalyi, Mihaly, and Eugene Halton. The Meaning of Things Domestic Symbols and the Self. Cambridge University Press, 2012.
Balkar, Dag. “On Men and Cars.” Oru.diva-Portal.org, 2012, oru.diva-portal.org/smash/get/diva2:894738/FULLTEXT01.pdf.
Michaels, Jake. “The Message behind Daniel Ricciardo’s ‘Stop Being Them’ Helmet.” ESPN, ESPN Internet Ventures, 17 Mar. 2019, www.espn.com/f1/story/_/id/26284179/the-message-daniel-ricciardo-stop-being-helmet.
Lumsden, Karen. “(Re)Civilizing the Young Driver: Technization and Emotive Automobility.” Mobilities, vol. 10, no. 1, Feb. 2015, pp. 36–54. EBSCOhost, doi:10.1080/17450101.2013.823716.
Kalanj-Mizzi, Stephanie Anne, et al. “Motivations for Multiple Tattoo Acquisition: An Interpretative Phenomenological Analysis.” Advances in Mental Health, vol. 17, no. 2, Sept. 2019, pp. 196–213. EBSCOhost, doi:10.1080/18387357.2018.1537127.
Mead, Margaret. Coming of Age in Samoa: a Psychological Study of Primitive Youth for Western Civilisation. Forgotten Books, 2016.
Zalis, Shelley. “The Future Of Masculinity: Overcoming Stereotypes.” Forbes, Forbes Magazine, 22 Jan. 2019, www.forbes.com/sites/shelleyzalis/2019/01/22/the-future-of-masculinity-overcoming-stereotypes/?sh=109a69c31af3.
Koeze, Ella, and Anna Marie Barry-Jester. “What Do Men Think It Means To Be A Man?” FiveThirtyEight, FiveThirtyEight, 20 June 2018, fivethirtyeight.com/features/what-do-men-think-it-means-to-be-a-man/.
Jerry Kennard, PhD. “Why More Men Are Taking Their Own Lives.” Verywell Mind, 20 Mar. 2020, www.verywellmind.com/men-and-suicide-2328492.
This Research essay was sort of new to me in a way that gave me a preview of what to expect in college. I enjoyed going deeper into something that I enjoy. With that, I have also grown up with being told what it is like to be a man. That we are the strongest in the family. We are supposed to act a certain way, talk a certain. It’s crazy that as a kid I’ve seen parents tell their kids they are only allowed to play with certain toys. These articles I chose to put into my writing weren’t random. Yes, they fit into what I’m writing about but they either caught my attention or I felt some way about them. That one article that talked about suicide rates in men is high made me think a lot. How many of us are hiding behind a smile and just want to break free from what society expects from us. The interview with Robert about his fiat showed me that there is more to a car than what it is when it comes out of the factory. Yes, a car is similar to all the others made but the way you build it will give it its character. This applies to people as well. If you try to be like everyone else you won’t be happy because it isn’t you. Like daniel Riccardo’s helmet says, “Stop Being Them.” A clear message about being who you want to be in life and don’t let others decide for you. This writing was a bit challenging with finding the right articles to look but once you find a couple you start realizing a pattern. I noticed the pattern of mine was about men wanting to stand out from what society wants them to act. I also struggled with finding the right citations. The one with Eugen Halton was difficult. I found the quote but it was inside an academic journal and the citation was going to be very wrong and it didn’t feel correct. But I learned that you need to go deeper. I searched up the author and the year and eventually, I found the book. Something else I learned was to try to stay as organized as you can no matter how busy your day can get because this paper was a lot to work with even if I had everything written out already.
